[fic] Pinky Promise - chapter 5 (1/2)

[moon_catcher]

Title: Pinky Promise 5: Care (1/2)

Author: gina84 
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG15
Disclaimer: In my dreams I can own anything... otherwise they belong to each other
Summary: They made a promise. But as time goes by will they be able to keep it?

A/N1: Jin is leaving + a little flashback to (almost) chibi akame ^___^

Previously...
Pinky Promise 1: Seishun Amigo
Pinky Promise 2: Real Face
Pinky Promise 3: Special Happiness
Pinky Promise 4: She Said...

*NEW*

5. Care

  

Surely all of us are always

Carrying around countless sadnesses and weaknesses

Even if you’re about to collapse, have the courage to keep walking

Surely as many smiles as the tears you’ve shed are waiting for you

 

Beginning of October 2006, the day after Ueda’s late birthday party

 

“Well, then we have a deal.”

 

Jin, drowned in his thoughts of everything what had happened since he had entered Johnny-san’s office not more than thirty minutes ago, stayed all silent. He was sure that even with his best efforts his voice could break if he tried to say something.

 

The pictures that were the main and only reason for all this mess were still lying on the table. As if Jin needed any reminder. It was almost unbelievable how everything could have changed within a blink. One moment he was happy and full of expectations, even coming to the work earlier just to see Kame, and another all he had wished for turned into ashes as Johnny-san confronted him with those photos.

 

Jin agreed to everything the old man said after he permitted Jin to be sent overseas instead of Kame. He agreed deferentially, without protests, without a single objection. Without any fighting; because he had already fought and in a very twisted point of view he had won. His winning gained Kame the possibility to stay.

 

But Jin lost the fight, too. And the penalty was harsh.

 

Six months in America.

 

Under other circumstances it could have sounded like hitting the jackpot. Especially for Jin who loved America from the depth of his heart.

 

Johnny stood up and as he was passing by the table, the tips of his fingers flipped the printed papers into the trash bin next to the desk. The problem was solved, no need to keep any reminders of that bothersome episode.

 

“We are done for now, Akanishi,” the man said with the same calm voice he had been speaking for most of the time of his talk with Jin that morning, and waved Jin away, his hand pointing to the door. “Within two days I will call the press conference to announce your leaving.”

 

The old man definitely wasn’t wasting the time, Jin thought nodding, silent again. Actually there was nothing more to say. And as he was turning to the door his eyes caught the sight of the scroll on the wall.

 

The ground becomes firm after the rain.

 

Jin had to grin at how apt the quotation had turned to be. Just a moment ago he had thought it was nothing more than a plain gesture to impress the visitors, and maybe it was anyway, but right now for him the words meant something profound. It was giving him hope and faith that once this wretched situation was over everything would be alright. All he had to do was to clench his teeth, obey and endure.

 

Johnny-san opened the door for Jin giving him a probing glance as he noticed which direction the boy was looking to.

 

“Don’t think about it too much, Akanishi, it’s just a cliché my designer had picked trimming this room for me. And I also think it looks well here.”

 

Jin shook his head to ditch his previous silly thoughts. Of course the proverb had no deep meaning, it was just a coincidence.

 

Then Jin followed Johnny to his secretary’s office. But if he hoped for his liberation then, he was wrong. The old man waved at him giving him a sign to wait. As if he wanted Jin to hear what he was going to say.

 

“Some shifts in Akanishi-san’s schedule will be necessary from now on,” Johnny advised to his assistant and the said man immediately girded for taking notes so Johnny could continue without even pausing for a moment. “All his activities will be stopped by the end of this month. Don’t settle any others for him after that date as well. No interviews, no photo shots. Nothing. Until the rescission Akanishi is not available.”

 

“What about the PV shooting that has been already planned?” the man asked gingerly but even his more than polite tone couldn’t hide his obvious curiosity as he realized what he had heard right now could easily turn to be something with long-term consequences. No activities for Akanishi Jin? What did this supposed to mean? “It should start early in November.”

 

“We will discuss this part later with the band members. I’m afraid this point will need some changes, too.” Johnny took a pensive look into the appointments book the secretary was writing into. “Well, what is the last event planned for Akanishi this month?

 

The man flicked over the pages. All of them were filled with his fairy natty handwriting as he was noting every JE members’ activities down there, differentiated with various colors and text highlighting. After a while he finally found the information his boss was asking him for. “Akanishi-san will participate in filming Utawara on October 22th.”

 

“Well, then cancel everything after that date.”

 

“But…” The secretary became all nervous all of sudden. “But if they ask for reason?”

 

“Tell them Akanishi-san is going abroad for an indefinite period of time.”

 

Indefinite period of time?

 

What the hell happened to the six-months-in-America original plan? Jin felt the growing panic was slowly widening into his whole body and he had to put his hands into the pockets of his jeans as they started to shake. He didn’t move, didn’t utter a word, just standing still in the middle of the small room.

 

“And one more thing,” Johnny continued and every one of his words made Jin to gasp for air as he almost forgot to breath. “We need to make some changes in Kamenashi’s schedule, too. Starting today Kamenashi and Akanishi are not working together. No multiple interviews, photo shootings, television appearances. Put them together with the other members instead.”

 

The only thing missing at that moment was no days off at the same time but Jin didn’t doubt the old man would take care of this issue, too, later but for sure. He had made his intentions clear earlier in his office: no contact between Jin and Kame till Jin’s leaving at all if it would be possible.

 

And again Jin didn’t even try to make a slightest attempt to protest in any way. He was helplessly glaring at the exit door, slowly losing hope for a miracle to happen.

 

But then there it was.

 

A silent knock followed by a cracking sound of the door being opened.

 

Jin stepped back a little making himself virtually invisible for the newcomer at the same time as Johnny hushed up in the middle of the sentence while explaining his secretary the necessity of promoting KAT-TUN as a whole group, not only the two lead vocalists with the rest of boys being hold down. Both men stopped their talk and turned to the door.

 

“What are you doing here Kamenashi? Didn’t they tell you there’s no need for you to come here anymore?” Johnny asked right after a quick exchange of polite greetings, with more civility on the young boy’s side as he was always a bit afraid entering this door. And his anxiety even grew this time as he felt like he had what had happened written right in his face from the very morning when he got up and he was more than scared that Johnny-san could find out, somehow…

 

“I-I…was just…passing by and I thought that…” Kame’s eyes were roaming the room nervously, not finding any point to settle on it. Coming here wasn’t a good idea, he would have done much better if he just had ignored the curiosity of learning of what Johnny-san had wanted to him before he canceled their meeting just before it had to start. “I’m sorry,” he bit his lip.

 

“I’m sorry but I don’t have time for you right now but I would like to talk to you later. I’m sure you have a work to do, right?”

 

“Hai. Sumimasen.”

 

Jin could clearly felt Kame’s presence with only the board of opened door separating them. It had been always like that as if they had some kind of sixth sense to know the other one was near.

 

Jin wanted to get out of his hideout behind the door, wanted to show Kame he was there. And he really wanted to smile at the younger one to assure him everything was going to be alright. Neither the kiss nor anything of what was going to happen in the following days could change what they had. Their friendship. The need to talk to each other when something important happened. The plain joy of having the other one by their side. He wanted the other to know that what he had said yesterday was still standing good. He still wanted him, maybe even more than last night… Not even Johnny Kitagawa himself could change anything of that.

 

Or that was what Jin was thinking leastways.

 

But as soon as his body made a mere hint of moving forward, performing on its own without his mind thinking it through, he was stopped by Johnny-san’s warning side-glance. The curt look commanded Jin nonverbally to stay exactly where he was. And Jin, once again, followed without a protest.

 

That was when he sadly realized that the one and only thing that hadn’t changed at all during all those years was his inability to put on any defiance towards the old man. Everything else had turned upside down lately, his view of life, his feelings towards his best friend, just everything important at the moment. Everything he used to think about as stable and unfailing had become a flip side.

 

However the only thing he was not able to do was the only thing that mattered now the most. Jin bit his lip and didn’t stop even if it started to be painful. But it seemed to be the only way how to prevent himself from speaking.

 

The door closed as Kame walked out of the room and Jin could start to breath again.

 

“I think it will be better for everyone if you don’t do anything rush, Akanishi. As long as we have a deal stay away from him.”

 

Jin sighed but nodded then.

 

 

 

The tiresome early morning sun was worming into the room through the drawn curtains. Kame snarled when the light tickled his face and he turned his body under the blanket keeping his closed eyes off the window. The buzz echoing in his head was annoying but he was actually thankful for it because it was easier to have to deal with a hangover than to tackle his clenched gut.

 

He didn’t sleep at all, his mind replaying the events of the last night over and over. He brought his hand to his face and gently drove the tips of his fingers over his lower lip. He parted his lips unknowingly letting out a muffled moan as he vividly remembered Jin’s kiss.

 

A smile that slowly crept into his sleepy face while he was thinking of Jin turned into an embarrassing and horrified expression as Kame remembered another detail of the last night’s events. His eyes opened widely.

 

Do me, Jin… here and now.

 

Kame let out a loud groan. He buried his face even deeper into the pillow he was lying on and threw the blanket over his head. He wanted to disappear from the surface of the Earth, burrow himself like thousands miles under the ground.

 

He couldn’t believe words like those had ever come out of his mouth.

 

But then he had to smile again as Jin’s soft voice was talking to him from his memory, promising him they would continue at the very point they were interrupted by –

 

“Oh crap!” Kame’s body darted up into sitting position and that rapid move caused his head to spin around. Kame rubbed his temples swearing not to drink alcohol again but the splitting headache was his less important problem at the moment.

 

Crap…crap…CRAP!

 

They saw him. No, more precisely, they saw them. Koki and the others, all of them were standing there watching the scene in shock which couldn’t have been bigger even if they had seen a ghost right in front of them. Kame closed his eyes. The headache was getting worse in every second.

 

And this time it wasn’t because of his excessive drinking.

 

He fell backwards onto the mattress with a heavy sigh but just as his head landed on the pillow the alarm clock on the bed table started ringing. As much as Kame didn’t want to he had to get up and go to work. It was Wednesday and he had regular vocal lesson.

 

It didn’t take even an hour for Kame to dress up and get to Jimusho. First of all he headed into the gym but soon found himself, due to a lack of sleep and yesterday’s drinking, too tired for any working out so he took a shower and change his clothes. And when he was going to buy himself a coffee to kick both his body and mind up a little he got a message telling him to come into Johnny-san’s office as soon as his voice lesson was over.

 

That was strange.

 

And it became even stranger when he got another one telling him Johnny canceled their meeting only some ten minutes before the arranged time while he was already on his way there.

 

Kame took a sip of coffee from the plastic pot and frowned. Canceled meeting meant he could go to the KAT-TUN dressing room and wait for Jin. But then there would be this very presumable chance to meet any of his other band mates and he still didn’t conceive a plan how to render what they had seen yesterday.

 

It wasn’t like they saw any accidental friendly peck on cheek because if it was that Kame wouldn’t mind, and if he would nevertheless then only a little. This kind of kiss would be… strange anyway but acceptable since he and Jin were friends. Close friends. But furious battle of tongues and clothes flying all around could be hardly considered as something close friends usually do.

 

He blushed only thinking about it. How was he supposed to face his band mates? It wasn’t difficult to imagine Koki’s grinning, Tat-chan’s raised eyebrows, Maru and his skeptical look, or Taguchi with his wide smile full of surprise looking up from his game. Kame shrugged. Sooner or later the confrontation would be unavoidable. But as long as he had the right to have a word in it he chose the later alternative. He finished up his coffee in one go and threw the empty pot into the nearest trash bin. No, he was definitely not going to the dressing room. Not without seeing Jin and talking to him first.

 

He needed to know whether anything had changed between them. Were they still friends? – But then of course they were, why not? – Or were they lovers now? – Kame shook his head vehemently, surprised and even shocked by the word that came up to his mind all of sudden.

 

No, they weren’t lovers. Or not yet. Though Kame had only a hazy picture of what it would look like having Jin as his lover, thanks to television and the internet he had enough hints to make a concept. And he had to stop and take a deep breath as he realized he really wanted this vague fantasy to become real.

 

He wanted to feel Jin.

 

Every bit of him.

 

That realization sent a stirring shiver down his spine to his stomach and even further down reaching his cock and Kame gasped.

 

As soon as he was able to calm down a little – not that it was an easy task while he couldn’t get rid of the ghosts of Jin’s kisses all over his body, even there where Jin had never really touched him – Kame knocked on the door of Johnny-san’s office and then entered. And he staggered straightway catching a familiar scent. His eyes scanned the room but the only two people in there were Johnny-san and his assistant, both similarly surprised to see him.

 

Kame shook his head which was apparently playing games with him. No way could he smell Jin’s cologne here at this hour. Most probably Jin was at home in his bed sleeping away his hangover.

 

The talk with Johnny-san was short and quick and as a matter of fact Kame didn’t learn anything about those confusing messages he had received before. Actually the whole thing became even more perplexing as Johnny-san told him he would talk to him later… but Kame was way far from even a slightest idea of staying in the office longer than necessary and inquiring this subject. With the last searching glance Kame turned away leaving the room. Once being in the corridor he felt he could breathe again. But the tiny trace of Jin’s scent stayed with him and he couldn’t shake it off.

 

Noticing someone turned round the near corner and was approaching him Kame quickly disappeared behind the door of a room right opposite the office. He took a deep breath and shook his head thinking about how ridiculous he had just behaved. There was no need to hide himself, he didn’t commit a crime staying in front of Johnny-san’s office!

 

Kame felt the blood rushing up to his cheeks.

 

But his embarrassment didn’t last long because soon he heard the opposite door being opened and Kame’s heart skipped a beat as he realized the voice parting with Johnny-san was Jin’s.

 

Kame slowly half-opened the door and peeped to the corridor through the incurred gasp. He saw Jin bowing and Johnny-san’s usual polite smile. He could sense there was an utter tense between the two men but then again, since the incident with Taka-chan some years ago it was no secret Jin hadn’t liked the man and Johnny-san had been watchful of every Jin’s move. And when Jin finally turned around ready to take his leave Kame stepped out of his hideout, unsure how to act or what to say, how to greet with the older one since the last words exchanged between them had been Jin’s promise of kissing him again even doing much more… Kame waved his shaking hand and a hint of smile flitted over his face.

 

He quickly licked his lip. “Um, ohayo, Jin.”

 

Jin stiffened in surprise hearing that shivering yet soothing well known voice. It caught him off guard and on the worst possible place of the whole world. He threw a terrified glance over his shoulder to the door he had come from a moment ago and seeing them closed Jin breathed out in relief.

 

“Kame…this…” his eyes were roaming over the younger one’s high-strung face and Jin bit his lip. He needed to take a deep breath to be able even to speak to Kame. “This is not the best moment to –”

 

“I don’t regret it, Jin!” Kame blurted out blushing. “Anything what happened yesterday and even before. I don’t regret any of it and I…”

 

Jin’s eyes widened in fear someone could easily hear them. He grabbed Kame’s arm and pushed the uncomprehending boy into the door behind his back and shut them. Being all alone they stayed silent for a while, hearing only their quickened breathing and heart beats. Jin was still holding on to Kame’s wrist and he realized it only when Kame moved. Jin quickly loosened the grip and pulled his hand into the pocket.

 

“Gomen,” Jin muttered and he himself wasn’t quite sure what he was sorry for and whether his words were somehow connected to the very moment or rather to everything what was going to happen. Avoiding his eyes even only to peek at Kame Jin shuffled his feet.

 

Kame leaned closer and not being sure of what exactly he was doing he gave a very quick and almost imperceptible peck on Jin’s lips. Then he found Jin’s eyes and locked their looks, smiling shyly and blushing even more than before.

 

“I mean it, Jin,” Kame assured the other one trying hard to stop his voice trembling. “I know you might not believe me, you might think I would push you away as I did back then but please, Jin! You have to trust me! I want –”

 

Jin grabbed at Kame’s shoulders.

 

“Kazu, please…” Jin gasped for air closing his eyes. So fucked up… the whole situation was just so fucked up! He hated the feeling of this helplessness that was consuming him from inside.

 

And with his eyes still shut Jin felt Kame kissed him again, only this time Kame let his lips pressed against Jin’s longer, he even brushed Jin’s lips with the tip of his tongue and Jin fastened the grip on Kame’s shoulders. The temptation of parting the lips to invite Kame’s tongue in was too intense and Jin needed all his might not to surrender. And holding his breath Jin pushed Kame aside.

 

“Stop it, Kame!”

 

“No, Jin, listen, it’s okay I want it! I really do!” Kame was gabbling out trying to lean closer to Jin again. “I would lie saying I’m not afraid but if it’s with you then I want it no matter what…”

 

Jin managed to keep the distance between their bodies though nothing seemed to be more right than to drag his best friend into a tight embrace and get lost in kissing him. Well had it been the only thing he had wanted to do since… since the very moment they had had to stop kissing last night. But now he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t vow anything by kissing Kame and then told him about his leaving…

 

Doing that wouldn’t have been right. It would have been fair neither to Kame nor to Jin himself. Because in the end they would have ended up nothing else but hurt.

 

“Kame, Kame…” Jin tried his voice to sound steady for the younger one to apprehend. “I’m sorry. We can’t do this.”

 

“But…” Kame opened his mouth in protest but next Jin’s words made him to shut it.

 

“I can’t do this to you, Kazu. Not now when I’m leaving within a few weeks not knowing when I’ll be back.”

 

Kame’s eyes popped as the realization slowly reached him. “Y-you…w-what!?”

 

“I’m going to study to America.”

 

A fucking lie! Nothing more than a lie the old man made up for public!

 

And Jin hated the fact that he had to tell the same crap to the only person he had never wanted to lie. But now he had no other choice, for Kame’s own good…

 

“Y-you…” Kame gulped heavily, his eyes searching Jin’s face for any sign this was nothing but a very stupid joke… But he found nothing, Jin’s face was a dead pan blankly glaring without any particular target. Kame shook his head, his mind refusing every word he had just heard. He desperately needed to find any acceptable reason, any explanation why was Jin doing this to him. And not able to do it, Kame did it Jin’s way. “That’s the reason why you were talking to Johnny before? Is he sending you there? Why, Jin! Why didn’t you tell him you don’t want to go?”

 

You don’t want to, right?

 

Jin shrugged his shoulders pretending he was all cool and not stricken by Kame’s silent voice filled with fear.

 

“Because it was actually me who asked him to let me go there, Kame. I want to go to America and study there and meet people and…have fun. And you know that, I told you. I told you if I had a chance to go back there I wouldn’t hesitate even for a moment.” Jin raised his eyebrows and managed an affected smile. “Now the chance is here and I can’t let it go.”

 

Kame’s heart was about to jump out of his chest. “But we…?”

 

“We are what we are.” Jin gave the other a quick pat on the shoulder. “What we have always been. Friends. This will never change, Kazu. Besides… it’s just a few months, it’s not that I’m leaving you or something, right? And when I come back I’ll tell you everything. You will hate me for all those details of every damn day I’ll spend there, you’ll see.” And with another smile Jin turned around and left the room not able to face Kame for even only a second longer. His eyes were wet from tears and the last thing he wanted was Kame to see him like that…

 

Kame slowly slumped down to the floor, bent his legs and curling himself into a ball he burst into tears. The door finally snapping in sounded like his heart being smashed into million pieces that no one would be ever able to put together again.

 

A/N2: I'm not quite sure about that Utawara thing ^^; it was just the first thing popping on my mind when I was writing.... sorry if it's wrong, I'm still not an akame/KT expert (but I'm working on it ^__^)


(to be continued...)