[fic] Pinky Promise - chapter 3 (1/2)

[moon_catcher]

Title: Pinky Promise 3: Special Happiness (1/2)

Author: gina84 

Pairing: Akame

Rating: PG15

Disclaimer: In my dreams I can own anything... otherwise they belong to each other

Summary: They made a promise. But as time goes by will they be able to keep it?

Warning: My first Akame fic

 

3. Special Happiness

 

 

What have you seen?
What have you experienced?
Just the fact that you'll be by my side in hard times makes me happy
What awaits us?
Let's overcome everything together
On days we fight
And on sunny days after the rain, forever...

 

End of August 2006, 24hr TV KAT-TUN no Kizuna

 

This was most probably the very first time Jin hated people staring at him. He was standing in the auditorium of the Tokyo Big Sight convention center where the annual 24 Hour Television was being broadcast from. This year KAT-TUN were the main personality supporters for the charity program and it was a great opportunity for them but it was a big responsibility, too.

 

Jin sighed. The piece of paper in his hand seemed to weight more than a ton as the time for reading what was written on it was coming up. For a second he thought he could make a little shift in the scenario and instead of reading the letter just say some stupid jokes or taunts on Taguchi, what was exactly what the audience was expecting from him. But then again, Jin knew he had made the decision to read it out once writing the first word.

 

His band mates had no idea what he was about to do. Jin was convinced they would have laughed at him knowing it because being emotional like this wasn’t his style. He was supposed to be the cool one and he liked this picture of himself as it was giving him an evasion from pretending being all happy and cheerful during TV shootings. With this mark he didn’t need to pretend and it was such a liberating feeling.

 

As all six of them were staying side by side in front of the crowded auditorium and the moderator was talking about the bonds people usually share with their families and friends, Jin in his mind walked through the lines he had written about his band mates. And especially about Kame. Jin knew that words couldn’t even nearly express what he felt for the younger boy. But on the other hand, if they could Jin wouldn’t say them, not live on TV. Intimate words like that would be assigned only to Kazuya to hear them. What was Jin about to read, compared to the lines he had written about the others, may felt flat. Impassible. Cold. He actually found some nice words about Taguchi… But talking about Taguchi, or anyone else, was way easier than talking about Kame as Jin never wanted the whole world to know how important part of his life Kame was.

 

But he hoped Kame would understand. That he would be able to catch the hidden meaning intended only for him.

 

It had been more than five months since the KAT-TUN debut. Since shooting the Real Face PV. But for Jin it seemed like an eternity. And eternity without Kazuya hurt as hell. Since what had happened in the dressing room they hadn’t been talking to each other or if had then only strictly in a professional way. It was awkward, too awkward for the others not to notice that Jin and Kame were withdrawn and impersonal speaking to each other.

 

As it had lasted more than a few weeks Koki asked Kame about it. But Kame only shook his head assuring his band mate that everything was fine, that he was only tired due to all the interviews and rehearsals and concerts they had. And that was, after all, true. He didn’t lie, he just skipped some details… Details like Jin kissing him and he himself returning the kisses. Details like Jin nibbling his nipples in the most seductive and incendiary way ever. Details like Jin’s tongue almost touching Kame’s groin with only a thin fabric of the boxers as a barrier… But those details were something Koki didn’t need to know. Actually those details were something no one needed to know, as much identical talk passed between Jin and Maru, with the very same outcome.

 

Kame and Jin had been acting that way until quite recently. Things changed a bit between them during shooting PV for new single a month ago. They still weren’t as close friends as they used to be, tiptoeing when the other was around but at least they were able to stay in the same room for more than two minutes.

 

They didn’t talk about what happened and both of them were beware of touching or being too close.

 

Jin took a deep breath as the moderator asked him to read the letter. He could feel Kame standing beside him stiffened uncertain and panicky of what was going on. He gave Jin a quick questioning look which Jin didn’t dare to return, eyes fixed to the paper, trying to make his voice firm and clear.

 

He said some polite words about his family and then there was nothing left to prolong the moment before talking about his band mates with Kame being the first. Jin’s eyes were glued to the paper though he didn’t need to read the words from it, every single word was burnt into his memory. And all of sudden all of them seemed lame to him.

 

Jin faked a smile for the audience, cleared his throat and started to read, without a single pause. “I have received a lot of help from KAT-TUN, too. Kamenashi, although we were working with tons of strangers when we were filming Gokusen your presence on the set helped me a lot. Koki, you…”

 

Kame saw one of the nearest cameras was taking his face in the expectation of his reaction but he somehow managed to keep his expression unchanged. But in his mind he was back to the times Jin was speaking about. Back to the times when everything was simple and having Jin around was soothing and encouraging. Jin was right, they had worked with tons of strangers but somehow none of the two of them had noticed it since they had been always together, helping each other and sharing private jokes no one else could have understood.

 

If someone asked him, Kame would most probably designate those times as one of the best moments of his whole life. Next to Okinawa, of course.

 

But nothing was comparable to Okinawa. Okinawa was special.

 

And as Kame’s mind was drowning back to those two unforgettable days he had spent with Jin he didn’t notice that moderator asked the other members for their reactions. Koki and Taguchi said something corky and relaxed, Ueda’s and Maru’s words were kind and glad. But everyone in the auditorium was waiting for the last one. Everyone was waiting for what would Kamenashi say about Akanishi, especially when for the last few months it seemed they weren’t as close as fans used to know them.

 

For Kame it was still hard to believe that Jin wanted to talk about them, about their relationship, or the shards of it that had left, here in front of everyone… But then again Kame realized Jin had no other option how to confront him because Kame had refused every one of Jin’s attempts to solemnly talk about the kiss. Kame had been defending himself from this kind of talk for weeks, rather months, fearing of how it could end up.

 

Likewise any talk would be to not much big purpose because no words or promises could change that they had kissed – and when Kame closed his eyes he could more than easily recollect how the kiss had felt and how aroused he had been just because of Jin’s touch. Or how riven he had been since then wanting to feel the heat and arousal again yet wanting to go back to the times when touching Jin was nothing more than an innocent demonstration of their friendship.

 

The friendship that once used to mean everything to both of them and somehow, still meant though there was a shadow of misgiving at the same time.

 

Kame felt the camera from before was interested in his face again and because it was his turn to say something he had no other choice than to play Jin’s wicked game with millions of people watching it.

 

“It seems like whatever we do Akanishi and I are always together…”

 

Or we used to be…

 

“We have conflicts, break ups and make ups…”

 

Right now certainly the first one…

 

With that thought Kame shot a side glance to Jin and saw his tense facial expression – and he almost forgot the next words he wanted to say. Obviously Jin didn’t expect the others could be asked to react in any way and definitely didn’t expect Kame could say more than one short sentence.

 

“It’s the same with the other members but it seems like every time, like I have my own problems and so does Akanishi, of course, but whenever we are reaching our limits I always end up wanting to talk it out with him.”

 

And it’s killing me that I have to deal with everything all alone right now… Don’t you see it Jin? Don’t you see how much I need you?

 

How much I need my best friend?

 

“A lot of things have happened but at the end Akanishi would talk to me and I with him…”

 

And with not much more words it was over, the whole trap Jin had set up without a single warning disappeared and Kame could breath again. Fear gripping his guts slowly faded away as the group was asked to perform a song and Kame forced himself to focus on his work. Work was good, work was a safe place to run away to when everything else turned to be a breaking down card-house.

 

The rest of the day was one big fuss and rush with all of them hardly having time to eat quick lunch. And after a few busy hours Kame conceived a suspicion that Jin was purposely keeping himself away from Kame, attending to not to be with him in the same room alone.

 

But it couldn’t last forever and after another act they found themselves all alone in a dressing room.

 

Kame suppressed the vivid memory of what had happened at a very similar opportunity in the past. He stopped, keeping a sufficient distance between them because he could easily see Jin was getting more nervous with every step forward Kame made.

 

“Er, I think…” Jin’s eyes were roaming everywhere but Kame’s face. “… we should go back. They are surely waiting for us and…”

 

But Kame stayed still so Jin didn’t move either.

 

After a while Kame took a deep breath, only when he was sure he would be able to speak coherently. “I still can’t believe you Gokusen me in front of everybody out there.”

 

“Kame I –”

 

“Can you even imagine how I felt? Can you imagine how hard it was to pretend that everything was just a part of the show? The memories of that time are some of the precious ones I have and I want to treasure them, not to talk them out on the screen, Jin! I thought it’s the same for you… but apparently I was wrong.” Kame shook his head in disbelief. He knew he overreacted a little but he thought it would be better that way to keep the distance.

 

“It is!” Jin blurted out afraid Kame could misunderstand him. “And that’s exactly the reason I said it, Kame. I wanted to remind you that things used to be different between us. That we were happy. And maybe… maybe we can be once again… I wish we could. And regarding what you said about wanting to talk to me it gives me hope you wish for the same…”

 

At the end Akanishi would talk to me and I with him.

 

With every Jin’s word Kame felt that the barrier he had built up and the distance he had been keeping from Jin was wearing off until it disappeared completely, leaving only the need of running to the older one and cuddle in his tight embrace, like he used to when they were kids.

 

“Oh Jin of course I do,” Kame admitted fighting down his desire to run to Jin and hug him. “You are my best friend no matter what. I… I’m so lost without you, you know? The few last months without you talking to me and me talking to you seemed like an eternity.”

 

And an eternity in the hell without the most important person in one’s life can be pretty shitty.

 

“I so wanted to…but… I was afraid, Kame. I still am in some way.” Jin nervously scratched his head ruffling his hair. “But I want you to know the whole thing was my fault. Only mine and I’m sorry. You did nothing wrong. Really. I should have stopped before it was too late. I shouldn’t have forced you into something you didn’t want.”

 

Something you didn’t want…

 

Kame bit his lower lip to prevent himself from shouting aloud that it was Jin who being wrong. Yes, he was surprised at first, even shocked maybe when he felt Jin’s lips touched his, but it wasn’t because of Jin himself but because of the unfamiliarity with how to react in that situation. How to kiss Jin back...

 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want it because he wanted it so badly that it scared him.

 

The truth was that afterwards Kame enjoyed Jin touching and kissing him. It caused his knees got weak and he felt something like thousands of small butterflies flitting in his stomach. It was breathtaking and stirring, so arousing it almost made Kame to explode from inside… but more than all of this it was crazy. And Kame wasn’t exactly the type of person up for doing crazy things. He needed to think things through. He needed order and rules, he needed having situation under his control. And he couldn’t afford to lose another important thing in his life. He gave up almost everything. He quit school, stopped seeing his childhood friends not having time to play or go out with them anymore, he actually stopped attending baseball practices. All what had remained was KAT-TUN. And he was afraid that if he hadn’t stopped what he and Jin were doing and somebody found out, it would have had far-reaching consequences for the whole group. He could have lost KAT-TUN, too.

 

Finally Kame dared to look up and his eyes met with Jin’s apologetic look and suddenly a dire feeling of guilt deluged his whole body as he knew he should assure the older one that he carried the same responsibility as he did but he couldn’t utter a word.

 

“Thinking it through I actually don’t know why I did it,” Jin said with a hint of smile admitting he could be really the baka Yamapi was always branding him. “It was a long and stressful day, even two days in a row, we were exhausted and all tensed up and I wasn’t thinking at all and I know it’s not an excuse but somehow I wish you could understand it that way. I really didn’t mean it. I’m not being called baka for nothing, ne?” He wrinkled his forehead in anxiety. “What do you think, Kame, can we…not let that stupid mistake ruin what we have?”

 

A mistake.

 

It meant nothing.

 

I don’t know why I did it.

 

As much as Kame wasn’t sure whether Jin really meant any of those words because he wasn’t able to read his facial expression clearly he knew that for the sake of their friendship he had to believe that there was nothing more than this – tiredness, excitement of the debut.

 

A mistake.

 

But first he had to persuade himself of not wanting what had happened to happen again…

 

Kame managed a smile as he slowly raised his slightly shaking hand offering it to Jin. Just a simple gesture this time, no hugging and no speeches about friendship. Jin made a few steps hesitantly approximating Kame but seeing the friendly smile on Kame’s face was widening Jin accepted the hand smiling back.

 

Neither of them had time to mind the electricity that jumped between their touching hands as they heard a loud crash followed by even a louder voice.

 

“Gotcha!” The door burst open and Koki came in with a wide smile which turned into a suspicious grin as he saw not only Kame’s back but also Jin’s more than surprised face with messy hair all around. Koki frowned. “You ok, Kame-chan?”

 

Kame whipped his hand out from Jin’s hoping Koki didn’t notice. Then he nodded. “Sure. Why not?”

 

“Jin?”

 

Jin shrugged. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”

 

Koki cast not so confident look at Kame and then even more suspicious look at Jin as he was pretty sure that something had happened between those two but had no clue what it could have been. Koki made a quick mental note to hear Kame later because all three of them were surprised by Ueda coming in.

 

“Finally find you!” Ueda pointed at Jin. “Have been looking for you for ages, Akanishi! You should have at least told someone where you were going. Do you know how unbelievably huge is this building?”

 

“Eh… no?” But in his mind Jin thanked the extend of the convention center for giving him and Kame time alone to talk and settle things between them. Then he chuckled. “I just needed to take something from my locker, no big deal. I would be back in a minute.”

 

Kame could still feel Koki’s side gaze and he stepped aside from Jin adding some polite distance between them.

 

“It has been more than fifteen minutes now,” Ueda pointed out. Then he shot a look sharp enough to kill to Kame. “And you disappeared as well being nowhere to be found. You can’t imagine how scared we became!”

 

“Because…?” Jin raised his eyebrows with apparent concern.

 

Kame lowered his eyes to the floor feeling uncomfortable under Koki’s searching glance. And that simple gesture made Koki sure that something really had happened, good thing or bad, but with Akanishi being included most probably the bad one, and he started to be worried.

 

“Because!?” Ueda shrieked shaking his head. “Seriously, Jin. You two in the same room with no one around and you ask me straight-faced? From what we have witnessed in the past months this could have easily ended in bloodshed!…Or something.”

 

The idea of some kind of dead or alive fight with Jin made Kame chuckle loudly.

 

“Stop laughing at me Kame-chan I was worried about you!” Ueda snapped eagerly and Kame pressed his lips together in guilt.

 

“You were worried about him? What about me?” Jin folded arms in front of his chest pretending he was truly offended at the moment. “You know, regarding all those nice things I said about you today you should be on my side not Kame’s,” Jin pouted childishly.

 

“What exactly is nice about saying we fight a lot?”

 

Jin grinned. “Well, not this part.” He could hear Kame was sniggering softly with his glance still lowered, trying not to attract Tatsuya’s attention again. “But I almost admitted in front of the whole country I admire you. Kind of…” Jin scratched his head again now seriously worried whether it didn’t sound more earnestly than he planned. “You should thank me.”

 

Ueda tried to keep a straight face. He didn’t doubt even for a second that Jin’s intention while writing or then reading the letter had no connection to him or Koki, Maru or Junno. He mentioned all of them just because it would be suspicious if he didn’t do it. The whole charade had only one object…

 

“’Kay, I’m not going to punch you just because we still have a lot of work to do. But –” Ueda warningly pointed his finger to Jin, “remember that I can do things you can’t. And kicking your ass is one of them.” With that Ueda turned, leaving the dressing room.

 

Jin jumped wanting to rush to Tatsuya at first but then changed his mind shouting “I can totally kick myself there any time I want!” to the open door. The only response he got was a loud cackling from the hallway, fading away as Ueda was sidling away back to the studio.

 

Chuckling Kame felt someone’s hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Koki.

 

“We should go Kame-chan,” Koki said anxiously, “or they will send someone to find us. The commercial break is about to end in every moment I guess and we need to get ready. Moreover we should give Jin some time alone to improve his kicking skills.” Koki balanced on one leg while trying to hit his own butt with the other but in the tight jeans he was forced to wear it was almost impossible.

 

Meanwhile Jin went to the door. He turned over his shoulder ignoring Koki’s jokes. “Are you going Kazu?”

 

Kame skipped hearing his own name being, once again, said by that warming and velvet voice.

 

“Hai!” Kame speeded towards Jin without too much thinking about Koki who kept trying to kick himself mumbling something about that it wasn’t as easy as someone could think.

 

As they were leaving the room Jin lazily put his hand around Kame’s shoulder as if it was the most natural thing for him to do. He was so happy having his best friend by his side again he didn’t notice Kame slightly tottered under the touch of the older one’s hand.


(to be continued...)