Beginning of March 2006, Shooting of Real Face PV
It was still hard to believe that they were here. Though not long time ago they had been said they couldn’t debut due to all those disparities between them and that they didn’t fit altogether as a band, all six of them were in the studio shooting their very first PV now. This was the second day of the shooting and none of them had been sleeping but during those stolen moments between shots.
With Ueda being on the set at the moment and Tuguchi waiting for his turn, Jin was sitting in the corner of the hall carefully watching what was going on around him. Every cell in his body was literally screaming for absorbing as much of the atmosphere there as possible. This was, Jin thought, what he had been waiting for. This, exactly this was what he was destined for. Not only to be one of the countless Johnny’s Juniors but to debut and write and sing his own songs. In a lot of ways now he was the master of his own destiny.
This feeling of excitement and relief, curiosity and anxiety, hope and fear, was it, Jin was wondering, what Kame felt back then while recording Seishun Amigo?
A silent sound came to Jin’s ear as the said younger boy made a move leaning closer against Jin’s shoulder in his sleep. Just a minute ago they were sitting side by side chatting and then Kame who usually couldn’t sleep with a lot of people around him dropped off all of sudden, snuggling up to Jin. Jin caressed Kame’s honey brown hair and smiled, carefully watching over Kame’s peace. It was one of those rare, precious moments when Kame allowed himself to relax during his work and Jin didn’t want anybody to disturb him.
The present-day Kazuya serenely resting on Jin’s shoulder was miles away from the Shuji to Akira times Kame who used to be high-strung, struggling for perfection and overworking himself all the time yet trying to prove his loyalty to Jin as well. Some things had changed since that time, like Kame’s actions during shooting became more confident and he also allowed himself to have fun with the others from time to time. Jin had been watching Kame the whole previous day, his interactions with the staff and the rest of KAT-TUN members, and he was more than impressed as Kame could easily switch from being strictly professional and concentrated on his work to his true bubbly nature, so pure and chatty that it was impracticable for people not to like him.
Jin liked both sides of his best friend. Maybe because somehow they reminded him his own duplicity. The duplicity that was essential for anybody to survive in the industry. He should know that, spending time with freaky Tatsuya living in his own world who ought to have been put in an institution or something, and even freakier Taguchi with his stupid jokes which were actually boring and fat. Both of them were living examples of how the newly debuted singer shouldn’t have looked like.
In some way Jin was a lot alike Tatsuya or Taguchi, though he wouldn’t admit it, just being himself in every situation. Jin wouldn’t compare himself to them because for him there was a big difference between his true self and those of Tatsuya or Taguchi. Jin wasn’t roaming about telling people he could see fairies. And he definitely was not introducing himself with three similarly sounding words. No, Jin couldn’t consider himself as a freak because he wasn’t. He just didn’t like hypocrisy. But he also knew sometimes there was no other way but to pretend.
“Um, Akanishi-san?” The voice cut off Jin’s thoughts and as he looked up he saw one of the director’s assistants staying above him holding some files. “Akanishi-san, I’m really sorry for bothering you but they are ready.”
“Ready for what?” Jin tried to remember his schedule but he was sure his part was planned after Taguchi’s so there was still plenty of time left.
“Your interview for The Making of PV Film. Did you forget?”
“They are waiting for you over there.” The man waved to some place on the opposite side of the studio. “It won’t take long. Just a few questions.”
Jin sighed since the last thing he wanted right now was to move and wake up Kazuya. He placed his hands on friend’s cheeks and pushed Kame’s head with care from his shoulder and propped it with the wall behind them. Waiting a minute to know for sure his action didn’t wake Kame up only then Jin stood up.
As he was about to leave with the assistant he heard Kame’s silent disapproving groans and he felt a soft touch on his leg as sleeping Kame made an unconscious protest about the loss of another human body’s heat.
“J…jin….don’t…mmm…go…Jin,” Kame mumbled in his sleep. “Don’t leave me…Jin…”
Jin bent to his friend smiling. “Don’t worry, Kazu-chan, I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into his ear before he let himself to be taken away for the interview. No matter what they were going to ask him he was ready to answer some blah-blahs and came back to Kame as soon as possible. Jin wanted to be there when Kame would wake up.
The playback stopped only to be alternated with a loud applause as Kame shot his very last scene. After two endless days it was finally over. Kame leaped down from what looked like a part of a sewer line and with a wide smile thanked the staff for their hard work. He hoped his last take would come out right and he wouldn’t have to go back and shoot it again. One of the cameras followed him as far as the door and Kame walking on down the hallway to the dressing room turned around once more and waved.
Then he hurried up to the privacy of the dressing room where he could finally tuck away his mask of a perfect entertainer. He was dog-tired and every flounce made him feel dizzy. All he wanted was to take a shower, change into his jeans and t-shirt and go home to sleep.
Sighing, Kame took a towel and went to the shower to rally a little before leaving home. A few minutes later he was almost ready to leave when the door opened and Jin came in with tired yet happy smile.
“Sooo exhausting,” Jin yawned lolling his arms above his head. “And kicky. Can’t wait for next one.”
Kame quickly glanced at Jin but didn’t pay him any special attention.
Jin didn’t notice it at first. “Ne, Kazu? Wanna have lunch? Or dinner? Or… something?” Jin frowned. “Have no idea what time is, though…” Time wasn’t important when Jin was working. Well, for Jin time wasn’t important at all, that’s why he was usually late.
“Don’t think so,” Kame muttered, hastily packing his bag.
“What if I tell you I know the best ramen shop in the neighborhood?”
Kame grabbed the wet towel and squashed it into the bag. “No thanks.”
Jin frowned even more. He closed the door and made a few steps to Kame. Even in his exhaustion Jin could now see there was obviously something wrong regarding Kame’s peevish tone. “Don’t tell me you are not hungry. C’mon, Kazu-chan. I remember taking you to a party when you finished shooting your first PV. At least you could eat a ramen with me, ne?”
Nonsensical reasoning as always, Kame thought in his growing fed-upness. He buckled the bag maybe a little more rush than necessary. “Oh yeah, how could I ever forget?” Kame agreed sarcastically. “You took me to a club and you disappeared with the very first chick who smiled at you! Did I forget something? Oh, and you didn’t talk to me a word that evening! If it were not for Pi…” Kame tried to compose his quickening breath and heart beating but without much success. All those feelings from four months ago came back to him abruptly although he had done his best to bury them.
Jin bit his lip. He hoped this topic would never come up again. “I told you I’m sorry for that. I was an idiot, that’s it. Satisfied now? I promise nothing like that will happen this time. Because this time it’s different, Kazu. This time it’s you and me, exactly like we used to imagine it, ne? We are debuting and that merits celebration!”
That was just enough for Kame who had controlled his explosive emotions by now. He shut the locker and looked at Jin. “And you want to celebrate with me?” he asked doubtfully, his eyes staring right into Jin’s puzzled face. “You sure? Maybe you would like to celebrate with Ueda. You two have so many things in common after all though you… you…” Kame pulled a face pretending he was recollecting what to say even though he knew exactly the right words. “Yeah, because you don’t really understand me because I’m unpredictable!”
Kame shook his head. “That’s it, Jin? You don’t understand me? Well, then I don’t understand you either.”
Jin’s eyes narrowed as he tried to understand what Kame was talking about. “Kame, can you…?”
“I saw it, Jin. Don’t even try to deny you said that because I saw your interview. You said you don’t get me and you know what? That makes me wonder who else should know me better than my best friend… better than… you?” His voice broke.
Hearing that a sigh of relief slipped out of Jin’s lips. A second ago he started to be seriously worried about what he had messed up this time. But this was only Kame’s hypersensitiveness caused by long hours in studio, nervousness and a lack of sleep. This was something Jin could deal with, just Kame pouncing on everything Jin said. Nothing special. Or at least Jin thought so.
“It was just an interview, Kazu,” Jin said in a low voice to calm his friend down, “you see, I don’t even remember what I told them. Most probably some bullshits ‘cause the questions were all silly and so predictable. I mean, what else you want to answer being asked about the future than that we will do our best for not to disappoint our fans, right?”
Jin smiled but Kame kept standing still.
“You told them that Taguchi is boring and you mean that, everyone knows you don’t like him. Neither his jokes. So why should I believe you were telling the truth about Junno but lying about me? It doesn’t make sense, Jin.”
Ironically, it made sense to Jin. He had lied because he didn’t want everybody to know how much he cared about the younger boy in front of him, he didn’t want to share with anyone how special he felt every second he and Kame spent together. He didn’t want to tell them how much he needed Kazuya in his life.
But all Jin’s best efforts turned wrong because Kame was obviously mad at him. Kame was forcing him into a corner and Jin panicked being cornered. As he knew from many times before it was useless to try to convince Kame of anything at this point. Jin knew he should have spun on his heels and walked away giving Kame time to chill out and realize how absurd this quarrel was but instead he did the very opposite.
“Maybe I didn’t lie so much after all,” Jin set on. “Maybe I really don’t get you. I don’t understand you, Kame, that’s it. I told them the truth.”
“WHAT?” Kame’s eyes were popping out of his head. For a second he thought he was ridiculous and queasy because Jin was right, the interview was stupid and Kame himself said some things he didn’t meant, so he was about to sweep it under the carpet and forget. He actually wanted to accept Jin’s invitation for dinner… But then Jin spoke again and they were, without knowing how it had happened, arguing.
Jin shrugged his shoulders pretending nonchalance while his mind was working as never. He needed to think up any believable reason for Kame. But it seemed his mind went completely blank. “Think about it, how I could understand you when you… you…”
Jin scratched his head. “Ha, I can’t understand you if you don’t tell me everything, ne? I need to know everything about you only then I can -”
“Bullshit! Jin that’s bullshit and you know that. I’m telling you everything!” Kame snapped. He didn’t notice he started shouting at Jin. “I’ve been telling you every damn thing relating to my life for more than six years! No one knows me better than you! Even my parents don’t!”
Jin was watching the younger one’s growing despair. But at that point Jin couldn’t just give up and let Kame win.
But the problem was that Kame really had been telling him everything. Since their trip to Okinawa and maybe even long time before Kame always shared his thoughts, ideas or sorrows with Jin. But there had to be something, Jin needed something to be there… anything. Any stupid detail of the younger boy’s life.
And then the answer came like manna from the sky. Jin chortled in triumph before he became all serious. “You have never told me the most important thing.”
“You have never told me what your first kiss was like. And I’m not talking about those elementary school trifles, I mean the real kiss. The one with tongue.”
Jin was standing there looking satisfied. The roles reversed and now Kame was the one being cornered.
Kame jerked. “That’s ridiculous, Jin, even for you. Are you listening yourself?”
“It’s not. I told you.”
The self-evidence and simplicity of Jin’s statement made Kame clueless. It was one of those moments when there was nothing more to say because Jin’s logic was just… incredible. Kame helplessly sighed. “Yeah, you told me. And not only about the first one.” And since then Kame had been trying desperately to forget about each of Jin’s kisses, to no purpose. “With all details.”
“See, that’s my point.”
Kame dropped the bag on the floor. Jin seemed he was actually enjoying his meaningless triumph, his dark half-closed eyes were scanning Kame’s face. And Kame gave up, knowing he had no chance to win this anyway. Going against Jin now would be like tilting at windmills. “I didn’t tell you because… because there was nothing to tell.” His eyes sank down to the floor avoiding to look at Jin.
“Eh? You mean you never…?” Jin shrieked out in surprise.
Not knowing how he got there, Jin was standing right in front of Kame. He cast a suspicious look at his friend who was still staring at his shoes not daring to glance up as he thought the only thing he would see would be Jin’s amused sneer. Kame heaved a sigh as all he wanted at the moment was to snatch his bag and run away as fast as he could. But with Jin being so close to him he could only stay where he was and hope that Jin’s mock would be short-lived.
“Never like… never?” Jin’s surprise turned into curiosity. And the curiosity turned into something else as he found himself being captivated by Kame’s face. The face that Jin had seen a thousand times before so he could have drawn every one of the delicate eyelashes, every beauty-spot on it if he had learned how to draw. As he let his mind unwittingly wandering around every single part of Kame’s face Jin didn’t notice his eyes lowered from Kame’s downcast eyes to his lips. He realized it only when those lips moved and broke the silence.
“Is it really so important, Jin?” Kame asked slowly looking up. Until Jin asked him Kame had never though about that whole kissing/dating/love thing much because he simply never had time to do so. Since the day he entered Johnny’s there was always something more important, something with higher priority. Before he eventually quit he had school and baseball practices and then he had to go to work and spend endless hours at rehearsals. Then there were concerts and TV shows. And then he started to film dramas. And with every new challenge coming up Kame had to work even harder than before, learn new things and all that put him under big pressure. No time to think about girls.
But it was fine, everything was fine and Kame always knew he could make it because Jin was by his side. From the moment he and Jin had to eat up probably all the goya in the whole world Kame knew that with Akanishi Jin around there would be nothing he couldn’t manage. He needed Jin. No matter what it takes.
“If you really need to know I’ll go and kiss the first girl I’ll run into and I… then I’ll…” Kame’s gun-shy eyes were roaming over Jin’s face, half covered with dark wavy hair. With Jin remaining silent Kame became even more nervous than he had been before and the tip of his tongue unwittingly swept over his upper lip.
He made a quick move in the direction where the door was but was stopped as Jin’s hand shot up, palm placed on the wall next to Kame’s head. At that moment Jin didn’t know why he did it. The move was pure reflex caused by displeasure at Kame’s leaving.
“Jin?” Kame said curiously, his lips crooked into the endearing curve as they always did when he was puzzled. “Jin, let me go so I can tell you then…”
“But I don’t want you to tell me anymore.” The realization came up all of sudden and Jin didn’t have time to think it through.
“I want to know myself.” And saying that Jin leaned closer to Kame and lightly pressed his lips on the younger’s ones. They were hardly touching, someone could argue that what they shared wasn’t a kiss anywise. But only feeling Jin’s breath on his skin made Kame to petrify, his eyes wide open and hands inertly hanging down by his tense body. The very first thought on Kame’s mind was that this was only another one of Jin’s stupid jokes. That Jin just wanted him to shut up.
But he could still feel Jin’s lips, without any sign that the feeling would disappear soon, and not knowing what to do in a situation like that Kame closed his eyes and let Jin do whatever he was about to do.
It took a while before Jin dared to open his eyes only to see that Kame’s were peacefully closed, long eyelashes fluttering against blushing cheeks. Jin was surprised, not only by his sudden action but even more that Kame actually didn’t push him away and punch him. The younger one was just staying there waiting for what Jin would do.
And all Jin wanted to do was to hug Kame and assure him that this was nothing more than some kind of short circuit and it wouldn’t happen again. Maybe he could simply put it down to his baka nature and turn it into a joke, Jin thought, but before he could say a word he saw Kame opened his eyes and their looks collided.
Now, Jin was sure, Kame will push him away now. And Jin was ready to step back and his dazed mind was trying to make up an excuse when he unexpectedly felt shivering hands on his hips. Kame slowly pulled himself forward. And that sole move was all it took for Jin to stop thinking about how possibly insane it was and press his lips against Kame’s harder. He licked Kame’s lips demanding for an entrance and Kame slightly parted them in response letting Jin’s eager tongue to slip inside. Jin was licking and sucking, he twirled his tongue around Kame’s and soon the younger one began to follow his example. The shy kiss became more deeper, more urgent.
Jin’s hands blindly searched for the bottom of Kame’s t-shirt and finally finding it they pulled it up to uncover a slim waist with a small belly button in the center. Caressing the newly discovered smooth skin, Jin broke the kiss only to trace Kame’s jawline with dozens of butterfly kisses and continue their way down to the chest nibbling each of sensitive nipples.
Every single Jin’s touch made Kame almost breathless and though he still didn’t work out how they had got from arguing to this he felt he was melting, his body took control over his mind, his back arched as he wanted to feel more of Jin’s body pressing against his own. Their groins met incidentally at first but with heightening sensations they started to rub against each other, groaning.
Wrong. The only thought that crossed Jin’s mind in the instant when Kame’s lower body pressed against his was that something was just wrong.
But Jin was sure that the wrongness was caused neither by the kiss nor by Kame’s fingers gently rubbing the small of Jin’s back, and definitely had no affinity to Jin’s growing erection because all of those felt… amazing? With another Kame’s moan echoing in his head Jin glided his body down and buried his face into Kame’s abdomen, teasing the belly button with the tip of his tongue.
Kame dug his fingers into Jin’s hair, hesitant whether wanted Jin to stand up and kiss him again or continue what he was doing or, conversely, entirely stop instead.
Jin’s deft fingers made quick work of Kame’s jeans button and zipper to utter the fabric of boxers and an unambiguous proof of Kame’s arousal.
Jin closed his eyes for a moment as the plain answer to his question came up. The wrong about this was how speedily and frenziedly was the whole situation progressing. One moment all he wanted was Kame to stop talking and the only way how to attain it seemed to kiss him and the other moment was with Jin stripping his best friend off. But Kame’s hands running through his hair, his quickening breath and the delicate smell of shower gel and of Kame himself didn’t help Jin to stop anyhow. His mind went blank fogged with unexpected lust. Jin quickly looked up and saw the most fascinating sight ever. His eyes once again met with Kame’s which had grown into the size of tennis balls and were full of confusion and yet of anticipation.
Kame bit his lip to protect himself from loud moaning. “Jin… Jin,” he gasped, “s-stop, Jin… we… ca…aahhhnt!”
That was Jin’s tongue following the line of Kame’s boxers.
Kame instinctively moved his hips, rocking against those lips that were giving him pleasure he had never experienced before. The pleasure as vigorous that he thought he would be burnt from inside if Jin was going to continue.
“Jin, please…” Kame’s breathing became heavier as he felt the painful arousal trapped in his jeans. And his breath almost stopped when Jin opened the fly of the said jeans to pull them off. “Jin… sto….oohmygod!” Kame threw his head back, once unable to think clearly.
That was Jin teasingly blowing against Kame’s trembling groin and kissing it through the fabric of the boxers, leaving a wet spot.
Somehow Kame collected himself enough to push Jin’s head away. With his hands still entwined in those dark locks he brought Jin to look at him. “This… I can’t Jin…” He was lost for words agonizing over the decision that was the only possibility in this situation. “We can’t do this.”
The only important thing for Jin was the plural Kame used. In Jin’s mind it could mean only one thing, Kame was enjoying what they were doing as much as Jin was, he wanted it just like Jin. Jin was slowly drawing off Kame’s jeans but sure squeeze around his whist stopped him. Kame stopped him.
“This is not right, Jin.”
“But you like it.” It was more a statement than a question. Jin leaned close and kissed Kame right on the belly button.
The touch of Jin’s lips made Kame to shiver. “Of course I do,” Kame said the very first answer on his mind, heaving as Jin’s tongue was circling all over his flat belly. But once Jin pulled a little back from the kiss Kame came to his senses again. He drew a deep breath. “But what I like or not doesn’t matter. We are debuting and everything is going to change,” Kame continued trying to ignore Jin’s lustful gaze and his own fiercely thumping heart, too. “Right now we can’t take the liberty of making any mistake. Not after all the waiting…”
“Mistake?” Jin grinned. His look lowered to Kame’s still half stripped jeans. “I can see something that can confirm this is actually not a mistake, Kazu.”
“We need to focus on our future, Jin… on the future of KAT-TUN. The opportunity Johnny-san gave us…”
“I don’t give a shit about what Johnny-san did and you know that! All I care is that you like this…”
Kame shied at Jin’s attempt to touch him again. He was pretty sure that this time he wouldn’t be able to stop it.
“We can’t be selfish, Jin. You may think it’s only the two of us but it is not. What we do will affect the others and we can’t do something what would hurt them. They are our friends.” Kame ignored the disapproving look in the dark eyes and determined himself to continue. “And you… you are my best friend. No one of us can imagine how hard everything will be from now on and I can’t cope with what lies ahead without you by my side. So please Jin… please…”
Jin opened mouth to say something but without finding the right words he only sighed. Looking at Kazuya, Jin was sure it wasn’t the right moment for jokes about how hard it already was.
Wrong. The voice inside his head was right, after all. This was wrong. Though only a second ago it felt more right than anything Jin had ever experienced.
“I… I’m sorry.” Jin stood up and stepped back, giving Kame some space. He was gazing at the boy in front of him, who was watching him in return. “Really sorry,” Jin muttered as he took another step, suddenly in a desperate need of being as far from Kazuya as possible.
“Jin, are we…? Talk to me Jin, we are still friends…”
“I’m really sorry, Kame.” Jin, yet not sure what he was sorry for, promptly spun on his heels and walked away, not able to stand being in the same room with Kame anymore. But the leaving was futile because the picture of half-stripped moaning Kazuya with parted rosy lips was still with him, in his head.
“… or aren’t we?”
For a moment there was silence disturbed by hushing whispers and Jin frowned looking at his phone. Then he finally heard his friend’s irritated voice.
“Yeah Jin, that’s exactly what’s going on here. Or will as soon as I hang up. Bye Jin.”
“No! No, Pi… Pi wait! I really need my best friend now.”
Yamapi sighed. At the moments like this, when Jin called him in the middle of the night with no particular reason, he almost regretted he had ever started to talk to this self-centered baka. He should have got chummy with Ueda. Or Nakamaru. Or someone like that. Not with Jin. But it was too late.
“Call Kame, Jin. He is your best friend and I’m sure he would be over the moon if you call him. I have a work to do, Jin… very pretty work.”
“No Pi, I’m calling you, you are my best friend.”
“Since… since I kissed Kame and he pushed me away and he is not talking to me now and I can’t talk to him and… fuck Pi! I should have stayed, I should have talked to him… He wanted me to talk to him but I… I couldn’t, Pi… I screwed up…so screwed up…Pi.”
Yamapi was about to hang up but Jin’s words made him not to do that. He raised his free hand to stop the girl who was sitting next to him leaning close and trying to kiss him.
“You did WHAT?”
“I left… and you were right Pi I’m an idiot…”
“Ok, it’s nice you finally agree with me but that wasn’t my point. I meant the kissing part.”
“I don’t know, Pi… I’m trying to figure it out but I don’t know. You should have seen him Pi he was just…” Jin gulped his own saliva as the image of Kame came back to him, “…perfect. His lips and sweet smell and oh my god Pi I was hard just by looking at him… and when he touched me…”
As Jin’s voice was getting covered Yamapi cleaned his throat to remind his friend he was still listening. “Are you sure it’s still Kame we are talking about? Not another chick you picked up in a bar? How many drinks did you have?”
Maybe was Pi right, Jin thought, maybe the best thing to do would be go to a club and spend the night with a girl. Maybe a random one night stand was exactly what he needed. Jin was actually thinking about it himself on his way home from the studio but the only conclusion he came to after a couple of hours of thinking was that he didn’t want any girl to distort his memory of Kame.
“No Pi, it’s still Kame.”
“Yeah, Pi… exactly.”
The door slammed shut and Kame closed his eyes as he felt warm tears running down his cheeks.
Jin left. Jin kissed him, throwing Kame into a huge loop, letting him experience all those amazing unknown feelings that Kame had never even dreamt of, even though it was obvious that what they had started couldn’t continue, and then left.
Maybe if they didn’t debut…
But they did and the attention of whole Japan was now fixed on them. Jin might be disposed to risk their future but Kame wasn’t.
Reassuring himself that stopping Jin was the right, the only possible, thing to do Kame slid down to the floor of the silent studio dressing room. He bent his knees and spanned them with his shaking hands. What he did was right, Kame said to himself, of course it was. But with every other minute passed the sureness was getting more and more pale.
And soon the only thought remained on Kame’s mind. How would what had happened affect his friendship with Jin? Could they still be friends?
Pinky Promise 3: Special Happiness
how much does this suck? Leave a comment if you read, author needs a feedback <3